As I sit here with my best friend as we both work on projects that are due tomorrow I wonder...is it a good idea to be eating ice cream right before bed? I am always afraid that I will eat something right before I go to sleep, then I will wake up from a terrible dream like they always play out in the movies. I guess that is a really dumb fear, but it'd be scary! Well that takes care of the pointless part of this entry! I really don't have anything else to say though.....uhmmm well I guess that is about it....okay! Well Goodbye all, and to all a good night :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas
Ah! The giving season is finally here again! The shorter days, colder nights, and snow that seems to fall in all the right places! Well here in the mitten, you would expect there to be three feet of snow by now...well it is looking more like a green Christmas is in store for all of us Michiganders. Don't get me wrong, I am loving not having to drive in the snowy mess that is winter, but it would be nice to look outside on Christmas morning to see the ground covered in a thick blanket of fluffy crisp white snow. Let's just say, that it is easier to dream about a white Christmas than to actually get one. But in the end, that is not what Christmas is about. Christmas is a holiday celebrating the beginning of a new life, of new adventures and of new friendships brought together by the cold whip of winter. Sure the presents are nice, and fun for a while, but the everlasting gift of pure satisfaction after really giving during the holidays is the greatest gift of all. I am not going to sit here and type that I am a perfect person, because I am far from it. But I am challenging myself this time of year to give back not only to my family, but to my community. I plan to do anything and everything I can so that another little girl or boy can have the Christmas of a lifetime. Maybe it's not through the perfect gift, but it will be through pure joy and love that they have a great Christmas to remember. At my high school we do a yearly project called Angel Tree. This entails that every SRT and different classes throughout the school 'pick up' one or two children of various ages and donate money to buy them Christmas presents. It hadn't really hit me until today that what we are participating in is more than just another project for the school. I-more or less-put myself in the shoes of these kids and looked under my Christmas tree to find no presents. Now I realize that they aren't wrapped yet-or put under the tree, but it was heartbreaking to see nothing. This is a very real thing for many families, and for hundreds of others, there isn't even a roof over their heads. It is really easy to take advantage of how good you do have it. I am extending a helping hand out to all of you in the hopes that you will challenge yourselves this year as well to give back and make someone's day brighter. A simple 'Hello' is suffice to making someone smile. Please, open your hearts and minds to we as Americans HUMANS getting back to the true idea of Christmas. Selfless Giving, Sheer Humanity, and Hope for a better tomorrow.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
An on going struggle
That work on myself that I talked about in my previous post is still getting on its feet. I almost feel like every time I am 'getting better' or finally grasping who I am, something has to come and knock me back in the dirt. I'm not saying that life should be easy and that it is full of rainbows and sunshine, but it would be nice for a break once in a while. I guess that isn't fair to say-but at the same time, it's not an easy thing to sit yourself in front of a mirror and face the "face" looking back at you. Having done this and seen, really seen the person-the "face" that everyone else has to look at, I am disappointed in myself. I am disappointed that I didn't have the strength to help myself and get back to the once happy person I was. It's hard to think that I'm not the same person I was even 6 months ago, but it was bond to catch up to me. I am getting better, I'm not just a mopey and sad person now. I'm just a little lost. Like I'm walking on an unfamiliar trail in the dark to a place I have never been to before. I know a guiding light will come and steer me back on the trail. It just takes time. I have faith in the Lord that he will come to my side and show me the way that I need to go. This place that I've never been to, believe it or not, is the person that I am inside. That person that just wants to come out and be seen. This person loves theater, to cook, sit with the people that mean the most to her, cry every once in a while, read a book, talk on the phone, watch corny movies on the scifi channel, to cuddle, and most of all-this person loves God. I have lost my touch with God. I can see that now, and it is scary. I know it will take time for me to get back with God fully-but I know he is waiting with open arms. I am on the right past, with the light of God to lead me back to myself.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
An Insight on Life
In a big city, a big world, with millions of people, bright lights, and opportunities, it is hard not to get caught up in it all and lose a little of yourself. I have found this to be true with myself. I had a mentality that I can do anything and that I could do a thousand different things and stay sane. Let me just say that is not true. I have been spreading myself too thin and I had a mental breakdown. It is a scary thing when you don't feel in control, when the world around you seems like it is moving20 times faster than you are. It's a frustrating thing when you try to keep your head above water, only to find that you are sinking deeper with every tread of your flailing arms and legs. Maybe this is a little too dramatic (I am a theater kid after all!), but I realized that I was falling. I am tired all the time, I don't have time to just sit and think, I don't have the energy it takes to do everything I have to just to keep up. It took some hard realization and pure emotion to get me to this point. More or less the idea of being too busy floated in and out of my mind. I began reading a book called Running on Empty by Fil Anderson which is about the whole idea of being to busy for your own good. In the book Fil said "I have been ripped apart by the relentlessly competing demands of my job and my home, wife and children, friends and family who persistently ask for more than I have ever been capable of giving. My hopes for the future have been haunted by the blunders in my past. My desperate longing to get my life right has been dogged by the nagging fear that it will never, ever happen,given the fact that I am hopelessly flawed." This is my favorite paragraph of the whole book because I feel that it was speaking to me. I have been trying to please everyone except the one person that really matters. I have become someone that I am not. I have become an empty shell that just goes with the flow of the day, moving at a snail-like pace when the world around me rushes by, too fast for me to comprehend. I need to take time to just sit and listen. Listen to my heartbeat, music, the birds outside, the wind, to God. I need to take time for myself. Or busyness will be my downfall. Writing this has taken a lot of thought because I wasn't sure how to approach the issue of my lack of PERSON-ality. I knew what I wanted to say, just not how to say it. Now that it is out, I feel better and can start work on myself. Rebuilding that once happy and lively person I was. This won't be easy, but I can say that I will prevail come out on top in the end.
Friday, August 26, 2011
I Have a Job!
Okay so I went to apply for a job at Coldstone Creamery with my best friend Carlos Westbrook and we both got hired! I know we are champs! :D
Monday, August 8, 2011
Happy Trails To You
We have all come so far, become so close, done crazy things, shared amazing memories, stories, jokes, laughs, balling fests, cupcake fights, hidden behind open refrigerator doors, gotten dropped off in God knows where, and lived our lives to the very fullest. These are the people that I have grown the closest to. These are the people that I aspire to be. They all may be graduating and I may have another year to go after they have gone, but I know that I will stay in touch with these people for years and years to come. Even though we still have a whole school year to spend together, you will all be sitting at graduation in no time. You will be looking back and realizing how great a ride this all really was! To the class of 2012, I thank you. You are the legends that our school will remember forever! I wish you all the best of luck and Happy Trails to you, until we meet again. Love you all! Thanks so so much!
Peace and Love---SarahBeccaBoo
Monday, August 1, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
It's Been A Long Week
This week my bestest friend Carlos Westbrook left for YoungLife Camp. I was supposed to go, but one thing after another never fell in my favor. I miss that guy! We hang out almost every day all summer, then he leaves for a week and I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!! Then he will be back for about three or four days, then he leaves again for WildLife Camp! I leave for Band Camp (Yes I am in marching band and it is the greatest thing in the entire world!) in two weeks while he is at WildLife....We pretty much have three days to hang for about a month. On the bright side though, he does come back on Tuesday so who has two thumbs and is excited to finally see her best friend? THIS GIRL!!!! Well I got some stuff to do (Not really, but I am pretty much just ranting now) and people to see (That is a lie...)! So Peace and Love!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Key Point In My Life
It occurred to me recently that I am just going through the motions of life. I mean I do go to parties and have fun, but most days I will wake up at noon and then just sit around all day. I need to get out more. I need to see the world while my vision is still good! I need to experience all of what life has to offer! I need to take life by the reigns and seek the true meaning for me. That is essentially what we are all doing right? Going through life trying to find our 'place' or 'duty' in life. Honestly, I don't think that there is this set, magical reason we are all here. I think we are here to co exist and find ourselves. Not what we are supposed to do, or what we think we are supposed to do, but who we are as people. I feel we were put here to find friends, lifelong partners, buddies, and family. Not only this, but to help each other. Be the helping hand to someone in need. Provide the steady ground that may be all someone needs. That to me is the meaning of life.
Monday, July 11, 2011
I am Mister Solo Dolo!
I went to the KiD CuDi concert last night at DTE Music Theater and it was AMAZING! Not only did I get the chance to hang with some pretty amazing people for the night, see one of the sexiest men alive on stage rockin it, and have a blast with complete strangers who share the same love for great music that I do; I have a head full of memories to last me a lifetime! I want to thank all of you had gone to the concert last night because you all made it worth while :) It still baffles me that I was even in the same vicinity as such an amazing, influential, and talented musician as KiD CuDi! I said it a million times last nigh, but it was an experience that I will never trade for anything! Not only was KiD CuDi amazing, but Chip the Ripper was just as fa nominal! I have to say that I had never heard of him before, but I definitely liked what I heard last night! I encourage all of you out there that when you get the chance, to go to a KiD CuDi concert! It is absolutely worth every penny! Well Goodbye for now! Peace and Love!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Life
Life isn't fair. We all know that. But what if you are put in a situation where it's not up to you to change or to fix what life throws at you. What do you do? How do you fix something that wasn't broken, or even cracked? What if you thought it wasn't broken? What if you were blindsided? Like me. I thought it was all fine and dandy, then the rug was pulled out from under me. This relationship that I thought was going fine, crumbled in a matter of minutes. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what to do to make it all okay again. I thought we were the kind of friends who could get through anything, but I guess not. I never thought something like this would tear us apart. I never knew that this would ultimately end everything. But I will let you go If it will save what little we still have, I will. Space is what you say was the problem. Space is what you said needs to close. You also say i'm a different person. I've changed in some way that you don't agree with. Isn't that life though? Isn't that what we all have to do at some point? Change? Grow apart....adjust? Maybe it's like a race. I am just a little ahead of you...or the other way around. I guess I will never know. Or never did, but I will try and find out. I won't completely let go of either of you because I care too much. Best friends doesn't describe us. More like sisters. I miss you guys. I have always, I just didn't show it the right way, and now I will regret this for as long as I live. Maybe in the future we will find each other again. Maybe we will find that sisterhood that we once possessed. But for now it will be on the back burner. I will admit my mistake. And I will admit that I was wrong. I'm sorry. I love you guys and will miss you.
I'm so sorry.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Job=Endless possibilities!
Okay maybe not endless, but I can get enough money saved up to finally get a car! Nothing special and nothing crazy expensive. I am pulling for a two door soft top Jeep, or a convertible Bug.....wow those sound expensive...but I found a couple options of both for less that $5,000 so I am in good shape :) Excited for what the day can bring me hopefully good fortune and good memories :) Peace and Love! Look for a listing for daily posts in the side bar later on. It'll be in the about me because I go on and on about myself enough :) Okay Peace and Love for real!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
I Look For Peace
I brought it up, you dismissed it.
I look at you, you look away.
What did I do to deserve this?
Was it something I said?
Something I wrote?
Something I didn't do?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I can't be perfect for you.
I'm sorry I can't be as happy with you as you thought I was.
I'm not a bad person, you just don't understand.
You don't understand how it feels to stand next to the one you love, and not be together.
You don't understand how I feel about you, you never will.
I keep it all inside.
I keep it all tucked away so you won't see that it is you.
It is you who I look to for support.
It is you who I lean on when I am broken.
It is you who I love.
It is you who I feel lost with.
I'm in a room full of people, but I've never felt so alone.
You bring it up, I dismiss it.
You look at me, I have to let you go.
I love you, but you will never understand.
I scream for you, your silence is the only thing I will ever hear.
A Second Chance
Everyone at some time in their life deserves a second chance. I have learned this recently and it is true. You never really know if that second chance will pay off in the end, but that is a chance you have to be willing to take. A second chance is the one time that I will let you lay it all out on the table and really show me that I am making the right choice. So screw it up, and you get kicked to the curb! Sorry this one is pretty short, but it's like 2 o'clock on a Saturday! How long did you think this was gonna take? I mean I got stuff to do! If you know what that quote is from, like and comment and you win an imaginary free cup of coffee! :D Well Peace and Love!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
A Summer Day, Drifting Away
My expectations for the summer were not very high due to the fact that my summers have usually consisted of sleeping in until 2 o'clock in the afternoon and not doing much with the time I have off of school. But this summer has blown the cap off of any pre-imagined bow I set for myself. Open Houses every weekend, parties, bon fires, good friends, trips to Texas, and a new summer song are just clips of what all is to come! Even though I have summer homework (which I am putting off!), I am going to have as much fun as I possibly can until the school bells ring in my head once again. Nothing is really planned so far, just going to be spontaneous and random because that is how you stay young ;) Well off for now to work on job applications and write a monologue for The Bullycide Project auditions! Peace and Love!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
A Trip To Last A Lifetime
Well I'm home! I had a BLAST in San Antonio this weekend! There is soo much to do there that you can never get bored! Me being from Michigan, I'm not used to the heat of Texas (107 degrees!), so getting off the plane and walking out into the bright sunshine and beautifully warm air was a great start to a busy, eye opening, awe struck, humbling weekend. The reason I went to San Antonio was to go to an anti-bullying conference where The Bullycide Project presented and got the word out about our production and what schools can do to get it to them. The conference was held in the beautiful Crowne Plaza Hotel Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio. The view from the room was amazing, and the Riverwalk was literally steps away from the hotel. Now Some advice for those of you who sometime in the future will stay at the Crowne Plaza, when you walk the Riverwalk, GO RIGHT AND TAKE LOTS OF WATER! Even though I was not used to the heat (and we turned the wrong way!), It was a beautiful sight. San Antonio is truly a beautiful city. The works of art scattered around the city are a bright reminder of just how proud the people of San Antonio are of their city. Not only is the architecture a wondrous sight, but the food and entertainment are also a big part of the night life there.
Blanco Cafe is traditional Mexican food that is hot and very very good. The restaurant itself is a sight to see. The outside is a traditional brick front with a green awning and the inside is decorated in bright colors and has a homey feel about it. The service was excellent and the food was five star. If you are in the mood for a less traditional dining experience, head over to Dick's Last Resort on the water of the Riverwalk. Filled with great food and an entertaining wait-staff, it is a blast just to experience. The food was amazing (I ate Alligator!), and the paper hats that they give you were a blast! The waiters write something about you on the hat and make you wear it until you leave the restaurant. But if you decide that you don't want to wear your hat (as a kid there learned), the whole restaurant will begin to boo you until you put it on! After a long day of sight seeing, and the heat has died down (Which won't happen, but it doesn't hurt to dream!), take a little ride on the boat tours. Riding down the Riverwalk and listening to all of the history of all the different buildings and places is a nice end to a wonderful day. If you are in the mood to just walk around, do so around the restaurants of the Riverwalk which in themselves are a sight to see!
San Antonio is truly a city of lights. Las Vegas, Paris, or New York can't compare to the utter beauty and history of San Antonio and the people who reside there. So when deciding where to go on your next vacation, San Antonio should definitely be on the list of possibilities!
Peace and Love!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
San Antonio!
Ladies and gentlemen the hour is upon us! T minus 14 hours til my plane takes off! The Alamo, Haunted Hotels, a River boat Ride, and most importantly....DICKS!!!! It's a restaurant! Get your mind out of the gutter! You should be ashamed!!! Hahaha :) I have always wanted to visit Texas and I am soooo excited!!! Plus I have heard that it is gonna be hella hot there all weekend! :D YAY! Can't wait!!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
When I Look In The Mirror
The mirror. It can be a girls best friend, or worst enemy. For me, it is a little bit of both. Everyone has their days where they just look Friggin' Gorgeous! And there are the days where we ladies don't really feel like putting on all of our makeup, and trying to dress up to impress. So why is it that men are soo superficial on those days? It's like we have the Black Plague when we aren't looking our best! Well I'm here to say that we all need to embrace our inner beauty! Without the makeup, without the fancy clothes, and without the put-on face that we show the world to gain just that much more recognition from the greater public to boost us up one or two notches.
If we 'Normal' people are allowed to go out with no makeup, in sweats, and hair a mess...why are stars put under such a fine toothed microscope? Why are we allowed to get away with fashion murder and they are ridiculed and "Spat on" (metaphorically of course!) for releasing themselves, and taking a day off? I know exactly what you are all thinking..."They are STARS! They HAVE to look good all the time!" Well maybe that is why so many of them have so many problems. Maybe that is why there are so many unhealthy stars who turn to anorexia or bulimia because someone in somewhere-ville tweeted that they were getting a little heavy. This is wrong. And I will be the (Maybe not first, but I like to think I am!) first to say that these people who we all Idolize and look up to and think we have to be like in every way, are beautiful whether they have on every concealer known to man, or they want to let the world be the world! Peace and Love!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Love Is Like A Trust Fall
People say you don't know what 'Love' is until you are older, or until you are out of high school. But in all reality, who are they to tell someone else whether they know what love is or not? I mean does really love really make sense after you pass a certain age? I will agree that some High School relationships aren't the smartest, or the greatest idea for many different reasons, but when you know....YOU KNOW! Take for instance a couple who goes to my high school. I found out that they have been dating for three years now, and are as strong as ever! They really care for each other and I see nothing wrong as I see them walk down the hallways like true lovers.
Love doesn't have an age limit. Love is the one thing not wrong in the world. It is pure and truthful. But when you think you love someone, but it isn't mutual, what do you do? If you love them, you can't just cancel and move on. You can't just pass by them everyday and not say anything, but on the inside you are screaming for their attention. Losing love SUCKS! It hurts, and it's hard to handle. But in the light of things, you almost have to get a mentality of a 'Cancel and Move On' thinking of things. Not that anyone should be afraid of love, or scared, or frightened. You should embrace it! Also not saying that you should love every person that passes by you on the street, but that you should keep an open mind and not be afraid.
Life is Beautiful. Beauty is Lovely. Love is True.
XOXO---SarahBecca
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The world as I see it
Lately after all of the recent Bullycide performances I have really been thinking about how much love a person really has in their life. Take for instance the performance that we did in Cadillac, the hometown of Alex Harrison. I was holding it together pretty well during the show and I was proud at how strong I was for not breaking down. Well after the show I eventually did, and it wasn't pretty in the slightest. But during bows while we were in the audience, I looked around me at just how many people were really there in support of Alex and of the entire show. But as I looked around at everyone who was in attendance, 500 people to be exact, it really struck me how much people really loved Alex and the Harrison family. Not just his amazing friends, and not even just his family, but the other 488 people in attendance who were sporting 'In Memory of Alex Harrison' bracelets and the many 'Remembering Alex' T-shirts. It didn't occur to me until I stopped and really looked, and I mean REALLY looked at all of the faces of the people there, that it was one person. One group to ruin all the years of love and happiness Alex had shared with every single person in attendance. One person to make all of the love and support that he had ever felt and received and given, to make none of it matter. One person. Like you, and me.
I also thought how different the lives of not just me, but of the world, would be if one person could stand up to the bully and really make a difference. That one person is someone like you or me. That one person needs to find it in themselves to stand up and not let others discourage them. If that one person stood up to Alex's bully, would he be here today? That is the question I ask myself a lot these days. That is the question that I feel that needs an answer and I will do whatever I can to find the answer.
What is our purpose in life? It is a different answer for everyone. But for me, it is to preserve life. To not let someone take that away, and to not just stand by and watch. I admire the pure strength of PK, and Tom Harrison, Sydney Maresh, and The other caring and truly loving people that I have met through this project! You are all the people who I admire most. Not just because you are all funny, loving, kind, caring, unique, and just plain awesome; but because you are all the kind of people who young kids look up to, and aspire to be! I love you all and hope to see you all soon!
XOXO---Sarah Becca
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wait for it.....Wait for it......
Well ladies and gentlemen, it is finally here.....I AM FINALLY 16!!!!! Yes I know!!!!! I can't believe it either!!!!! AHHHHH! Today was truly great :) I got a big bag of candy from my best friend in the world, and a giant card that all my friends signed :) Adorable right! I know! Well that's all I really have time for unfortunetly, I have to study for exams :/
Peace and Love!
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