An on going struggle

That work on myself that I talked about in my previous post is still getting on its feet. I almost feel like every time I am 'getting better' or finally grasping who I am, something has to come and knock me back in the dirt. I'm not saying that life should be easy and that it is full of rainbows and sunshine, but it would be nice for a break once in a while. I guess that isn't fair to say-but at the same time, it's not an easy thing to sit yourself in front of a mirror and face the "face" looking back at you. Having done this and seen, really seen the person-the "face" that everyone else has to look at, I am disappointed in myself. I am disappointed that I didn't have the strength to help myself and get back to the once happy person I was. It's hard to think that I'm not the same person I was even 6 months ago, but it was bond to catch up to me. I am getting better, I'm not just a mopey and sad person now. I'm just a little lost. Like I'm walking on an unfamiliar trail in the dark to a place I have never been to before. I know a guiding light will come and steer me back on the trail. It just takes time. I have faith in the Lord that he will come to my side and show me the way that I need to go. This place that I've never been to, believe it or not, is the person that I am inside. That person that just wants to come out and be seen. This person loves theater, to cook, sit with the people that mean the most to her, cry every once in a while, read a book, talk on the phone, watch corny movies on the scifi channel, to cuddle, and most of all-this person loves God. I have lost my touch with God. I can see that now, and it is scary. I know it will take time for me to get back with God fully-but I know he is waiting with open arms. I am on the right past, with the light of God to lead me back to myself.